Sucker...

A few years ago I found my life just plain broken. Broken...in some Christian circles is a word that is thrown around quite a bit. When broken hit me.....it took me out cold. Dust in the teeth of a broken man tastes very bitter... but I thank God for it.


At some point in Tucson I found my identity as an alcohol soaked musician- pot head. But what does that look like? I made good money and I had obtained a certain level of success in my career. Had plenty of friends.....heck even had a good business sense about me. I could sell drugs to you for allot more than I paid for them. SUCKER... It was at this point at my life I kept hearing the phrase " Mike...you are seriously cool". I mean I wish I could make that up...but really...ALL THE TIME. I heard this for about half a year. I guess I had a good image...half my arm tattooed with a dread locked Jesus... and when you talk slow all the time because your so high....it creates a great image. Fantastic.


At some point in 2005 I remember thinking to myself (as I was taking a shower....very stoned)..."Wow, remember when I used to be a hardcore Christian...what a trip" I mean I used to be in leadership for crying out loud. I had preached in churches and even in the streets of Europe. Now it seriously seemed like an entire past life. Some vague memory that I could attribute to living in a certain town with a certain culture. But God is faithful even when we are not.


Well....how can I say this. He..and I mean God... kind of allowed my mind to slip out of place a bit. Like a nervous breakdown. It happened when I was preparing a report for a college class I was taking to continue my education. Just a little heads up. Its not as easy to write reports when you cant stop drinking and getting high. I mean its not impossible...I had already done it before and made an "A". I was the "cool" guy after all. But there it happened. In the middle of trying to put some thoughts together, God just reached down and slightly dialed the tweak button.....and my mind just froze. My reaction was less than broken in the first few moments. I remember thrashing my computer, followed by bouncing my cell phone off the ground, and climaxed by kicking the ---- out of whatever I could find. Then I fell to the ground weeping. God....help me...freaking help me....freaking help me.....


Well he did. He got my attention and took me on a journey of healing that was unreal. There were times when I would sit on the floor of the room and have my life play like a movie in front of me....and God would just talk to me about some things of my past. He helped me understand my disillusionment with Church and some hurts that I had experienced. All this Supernatural stuff started colliding with my life. For several months I just knew things about people and situations that no one had told me. It was weird. I had things show up in my house and try to choke me out in the middle of being asleep. Seriously weird. Which could leave you thinking right now...why are you sharing this? Because.... as I have been typing this I have been listening to worship music... and Gods real substantial presence has just filled my room. I am seriously in Love with Him. Not only has He restored me....He has blessed me far beyond I could have ever imagined. Blessed me with a family....blessed me in my job.....blessed us financially....blessed us with so many sold out Jesus friends in our life who are not religious, but carry a weight in the Spirit. Restoration! No! Lavish...lavish...Goodness.


He loves you man. Daughter... He loves you. He loved me in my shame and has freed and healed me to the point where I could really care less of what you think of me when you read this. You little SUCKER... loved so much by God.


I pray that if His presence has gone far from your life.... that the Lord would let it rest on you....God bless them and love them....I bless them...Father may you always be found faithful...even when we have not.....Thanks for your reading time

True Rebellion...

Have you ever had the desire to jump out of the cultural flowing river of our Western culture and do the salmon thing....you know...swim upstream. Better yet, jump upstream because some strength and force motivates you, and it is stronger than popular current. I would be willing to bet at one time or another we have all had that desire. The movie the MATRIX was written on this theme. Its time to wake up Neo....
My experience dictates we live in a time when people are searching for a purpose and a greater cause to live for. Our society is becoming disillusioned with leaders, media, sexuality, and the financial system. (to name a few) Causes are springing up to counter this..the Green planet movement..Political shifts...Technology shifts...Economic shifts in the global economy. The sexual and social revolution of the sixties has long past and I there is a new generation that wants to see its own shift...to leave its own mark. I sure as heck do.....I mean come on...you do to...I know you wanted to scream FREEDOM at the end of Braveheart too.
Let me present a few ideas on what I see could be some fundamental "how to's" of cultural rebellion. I am sure these will be out of the norm from what you typically hear....but that's the whole point of rebellion right? Its fun... kind of like chasing your kids around the yard with a water hose. Please...allow me to pontificate on some of my non-conforming points....

• As much as absolutely possible stay out of debt. The "man" the system is being fed by our absolute desire to have it now and our willingness to pay them an absorbent amount of interest to large corporations that operate on virtual wealth. Look at the current lending crisis.. The personal freedom that accompanies living debt free is very much not the norm but absolutely freeing and a fist in the face of popular culture. Buy used clothes, use what you have until it is just done, take care of what you have, and more importantly don't find your identity in things you own. (the cliche' = they own you)
• Seek to understand the Love of God. This could have several difficulties. Maybe you don't believe in God or some experience has formed a bad filter in which you view him. the Truth is you can call Him "daddy" and find some love that is real. More importantly once you have experienced this love you can start to dispense it. Experience is what will cause some to cringe as they read this...and experience is what will be needed to get that Love back...You got to get to give
• Commit to work thru relationships and be a long term father, mother, or friend to a healthy community throughout your life. The only thing eternal is relationship..... Therefore get some good ones and give and receive. Our Western Society functions like relationships are disposable (when its tough bail out and go on). Look at the results of this...your smart....I don't need to say anymore.
• Thru the power of God learn how to see, react, and function in supernatural activity. You know... kind of like being trained to be a Jedi knight or something. Look in the ancient writings of the new testament. They got to have all kinds of fun....spiritual visitations ...prophecy ... seeing into the spirit realm ... healing the sick.... heck ... raising the dead. That is seriously counter culture activity, a little beyond your "Dancing with the Stars" moment. I know people who really do this stuff...how strange.

Our society has come to glorify knowledge without experience, and materialism without fulfilment and love without commitment. This is starting to change, and a culture of counter values is rising up to confront these issues. One thing that we as a society must not ignore is how to evaluate the outcome or "fruit" of our actions. The whole revolution of the sixties did not pan out like many thought..... History is an important subject to embrace so we learn how to create positive change and avoid some pitfalls. Human nature has not evolved that much, and it operates mainly the same as it has since the beginning of time. Many would argue against this point and say that I am full of it...... I would say... Evaluate our current fruit...examine history and get back to me on that. Thanks for your time...you little rebel...

oh yea...ride a big black motorcycle that helps to!

Through a glass dimly

I just got back from Oregon and it was an amazing trip. For those of you who know me, you know that I lived in Oregon for about four years. Living in Oregon was a life changing experience. I was transformed from a passionate bible belt conservative christian to a beer drinking marijuana smoking musician. Hmm...that does not happen overnight and the story is a very long one indeed.

Have you ever looked back on your life and the light just turns on? You see things that at one time were just confusing and full of struggle, and now you can unfold the map and see how you got there. I had that happen on my recent trip and I will make some quick points.

• When I moved to Portland I was not healthy spiritually. I was once a passionate man who had several arrows stuck in him. Also, at some point I had exchanged a simple relationship that had experiential power... for a system. The exchange rate was terrible.


• Also... spiritual forces are all around us and if you believe it or not we have all been under the influence of these at one time or another. I was drawn to things that appealed to me, but did not have the wisdom to see how other channels could bend me. I was being BENT.


• Maybe the most important was that I did not have a handle on GRACE. I recently chatted with a friend and talked about cutting someone slack. Since then, slack is the word I like to use for grace...slack grace. When I did not have slack I was tightening the rope...the person on the other end was being hung...me.


• Addictive personality...for some who don't know, there are a few who really cant handle one puff...one drink. I was always on a mission and there were things deep inside me driving it..until I could get free of those... something was going to surface...

So I was in Oregon and got a chance to see and hang out with my friends that I used to party hard with. We had all grown. More importantly I just see things different. These aren't my old
"party friends" they are just my friends. A community of people I was apart of who loved me. I have regained allot of simple things that I had once lost... and I have fallen in love with God again. I was there with my family, and I can say I had true joy and contentment. Most everyone said how happy I looked and deep down I know it is true.

So if I can persuade you at all (and believe me I am a persistent man) be addicted to Grace and once you have that much slack keep a simple relationship with a good GOD....deflect arrows and be aware of your surroundings...simple enough?

First things first....

Well..I remember awhile back having a friend in the northwest who was into the very cutting edge of technology. They were telling me about a "blog" and I asked what a blog was. It was like a diary for anyone on the Internet to read. I am pretty sure I responded with a profound "huh"... Secretly thinking to myself "why?"... but I did not want to say anything for fear of being found out that technology and I co-existed and did not co-operate.

Technology finally beat me arm wrestling (no small feat to those who have seen the gun show) and I am now salivating over the I-Phone and other things to do while a drive fast. (Just kidding dear) Maybe the real reason to blog is to tie a personality to my online identity that I have worked so hard for on facebook. Can you say "Request me as your friend please!" It could be that if you get enough friends, any deep internal insecurity you have may just virtually disappear. Trust me..I am confident of that.

Maybe we can share some online space together while you read this and you can point out some ikea items that could spruce this space up a bit.